These are trying times friends. It looks like we could be on the verge of “ANOTHER FINANCIAL BUBBLE BURSTING!!!!!!”
Do you know what happens when a bubble bursts? In a literal sense, very little happens at all. Minimal mess, easy to clean up and actually quite enjoyable to watch. Well the metaphor is misplaced. A financial bubble bursting means curbs on welfare, increasing costs of living, families out on the streets and most likely a further hike on the price of avocados.
I’ll tell you what else. Your meager salary ain’t gonna cut it if you want to keep living this lifestyle. The Prosecco years are over sunshine and it’s time to start thinking about a plan b. A side earner. You need to set up your own business. Now! Quick, do it!
Only thing is you don’t have a darn clue about business, do you?! That absolute pantomime you show up for Monday to Friday has taught you zero about going it alone. You only go for the client lunches and bitchy office gossip.
Well you’re in luck. It’s actually more simple than you thought. First, let’s come up with that million dollar idea…
People love the word organic in anything. Juices, clothing, cosmetics….that stuff sells like hot cakes. You know what else sells like hot cakes? Hot cakes sell like hot cakes. So why not open an organic hot cake shop.
That’s called a eureka moment. Welcome to business friend.
Now to production. You’ve got to make the hot cakes. You’ve got to make them hot and they’ve got to be cakes. That much is clear. But how many do you make? And how hot? This is business planning people and you need to do your research. Get down on the street and start asking people if they want your hot cakes!
There might be other people selling hot cakes out there. “Hey cowboy, how’d you like some of these hot cakes?..” you might hear a moustached gentleman in a biker bar say to you. He’s called a competitor. You need to learn from your competitors, so take him up on his offer. You’ll learn a lot…
Okay okay, you probably felt like you paid too higher price don’t you? You maybe thought it was very hot but with a real lack of cake…and too much leather. No matter. Differentiate yourself. Less sex in truck stops and more cake. That’s called your niche.
You’ve got your product, you’ve got the market figured out, the all clear from the doctor… it’s going well!
Wait, did you remember to register yourself as an independent business with the tax people? No? Shit what’s this bill for? 19,000 on eggs!?!? How did you manage to spend so much on eggs?! You can’t afford that! What’s that noise? Oh my god the ovens on fire, quick someone deal with that. I’ve got a guy on the phone saying he ordered 50 organic hot cakes last week and he still hasn’t got them yet? Someone’s at the door. It’s the tax guy! He says you owe inland revenue 50,000. I think the guy from the biker bar is back too. He’s standing outside just rubbing his thighs.
Okay maybe the bubble thing isn’t so bad. Stick it out and just drink less? Put back buying a house for a few more years? Yeah sweet.